


Soft Touches

by FluffNStuff



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, enjoy oikawa angsting and pining over Iwa's hot bod lmao, tbh i dont even know with this one its a bit rambly???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 01:27:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5228669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffNStuff/pseuds/FluffNStuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa's had it bad for his best friend for years. And it's just getting too hard to hide it anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soft Touches

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this really late at night and I haven't even proofread it so I don't even know if it makes sense??? Idk, hope you like it more than I do (-人-。)

Oikawa had loved Iwaizumi Hajime since he was young. He’d loved his steely eyes that would soften sometimes when they looked at him. He loved Iwaizumi’s gruff voice, which would encourage Oikawa to carry on with his goals, tell him to never give up. He loved the way that Iwaizumi would get angry if anyone, including Oikawa himself, looked down on him. He loved him with his whole heart. 

And it’s a love he could never share, because Iwaizumi was his best friend. 

He didn’t know it was love at first. He didn’t know that the way he felt about Iwaizumi was different than how others felt about their best friends. But as time passed and Oikawa grew, he realized that the boy he grew up with was someone he never wanted to give up. 

He’d realized it was love that he felt towards his best friend in his second year of middle school, when he got his first girlfriend but couldn’t feel a thing towards her. Every relationship he had he would compare to his relationship with Iwaizumi. And the feelings that were there were just… different. Oikawa figured it out, put the pieces together, when Iwaizumi had comforted him from his breakup. The incredibly soft touch of Iwaizumi’s hand running up and down his back, consoling the body-shaking sobs that wracked through him. Oikawa had clung to Iwaizumi, unable to control his body, his emotions, or his mind. He didn’t even know why he was upset. But telling Iwaizumi had set something off. The look of pity that had crossed his best friend’s face had stirred an explosion of emotion that had to be let out. 

Iwaizumi had just sat there, rubbing Oikawa’s back and whispering words that Oikawa couldn’t remember. And at that moment, with one hand so soft and gentle he could hardly feel it, and the other strong and firm against his shoulder as if it were holding every small fragment of Oikawa’s body together, Oikawa realized that this was all he needed. If he had Iwaizumi with him, he didn’t need anything else. He didn’t need anyone else.

—-

It had been nearly 5 years since Oikawa had realized his feelings for Iwaizumi, and it was only getting worse. Oikawa frowned as around him the Aobajousai volleyball team changed out of their school clothes and into their practice-wear. Changing had got entirely more difficult. Oikawa’s fingers rummaged nervously over his shirt, hands wringing the fabric as he attempted to avoid looking at Iwaizumi change. He wanted to look, to scan over his best friend’s shirtless figure slowly and take in every dip and curve. It was hard not to look, because as far as Oikawa was concerned, Iwaizumi was the hottest person he’d ever seen. The thought resonated so strongly with Oikawa that it actually pissed him off. Iwaizumi didn’t even try. He was just naturally beautiful. His skin was naturally a dark tan, like he’d been out in the sun for an entire summer. It practically glowed and it made Oikawa huff just thinking about it. 

He couldn’t help it and he snuck a glance, just catching the hardened muscle of Iwaizumi’s abs and Oikawa’s eyes widened as he looked away as quick as possible, a smile he couldn’t help creeping onto his face. He felt a soft hand on his shoulder lightly push him. Oikawa turned and was face to face with Iwaizumi, who was looking at him with a concerned yet irritated expression.

“Are you going to get dressed or what?” asked Iwaizumi in a dull voice. His eyes bore into Oikawa; he had the tendency to stare with his intense eyes, which only made Oikawa more nervous. It suddenly occurred to Oikawa that Iwaizumi was touching his bare skin. Oikawa tried to contain the blush spreading across his face and swallowed thickly, averting his his eyes.

“I just have a lot on my mind, Iwa-chan, I’ll be out soon,” he covered while smiling, purposefully avoiding Iwaizumi’s blank stare. Iwaizumi shrugged and then walked past him. Oikawa felt a pressure relieve from his chest once Iwaizumi left the room. He let out a long breath and sunk to the floor, staring at his locker but not really looking at it. 

“Are you okay, Oikawa-san?” asked Hanamaki. Oikawa jumped, he’d thought the room was empty. Oikawa laughed nervously and stood back up again, rubbing the back of his head uncomfortably.

“I’m fine, I’m fine! Long day is all,” mused Oikawa, trying very hard to appear normal. Today just wasn’t his day. Normally, he was able to hide it better. He was able to laugh it off but he just couldn’t today. Hanamaki stayed silent for a moment and then sighed, looking down at the ground, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Oikawa-san, if it’s going to affect you this much, shouldn’t you tell him?” he asked bluntly, raising an eyebrow at him skeptically. Oikawa felt like his entire body had drained from him. Where he had been looking he continued to stare, his eyes out of focus. Hanamaki waited patiently. Oikawa finally let out a shaky breath and then looked at Hanamaki, smiling wide.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Makki!” he said brightly before briskly leaving the locker room. He entered the gym and the rest of the team greeted him. Hanamaki followed Oikawa close behind, looking a bit perturbed but otherwise normal. 

“Why does it take you so long to get dressed, Shittykawa?” asked Iwaizumi, shaking his head. Oikawa shrugged.

“It takes a lot to stay this pretty, Iwa-chan,” he answered, to which Iwaizumi smacked him on the back of the head. Tension left Oikawa’s shoulders and he laughed, play fighting with Iwaizumi had always helped him relax.

Practice went like normal, though Oikawa had a bit of an off day with his serving. He’d been caught up watching Iwaizumi wipe sweat off of his face with the bottom of his shirt and ended up serving straight into the back of Kindaichi’s head. He’d profusely apologized, it looked like it hurt, but Oikawa wasn’t sure if Kindaichi would ever really forgive him. 

“Oikawa are you coming over today?” asked Iwaizumi casually as he pulled his school shirt over his head. Oikawa blinked at Iwaizumi, processing the question and then smiled.

“Of course, Iwa-chan! I always have dinner with you and your parents on Fridays!” he exclaimed. He focused on packing his sports bag and continued, “It’s not like you even really needed to ask,” he said a little softer, smiling mostly to himself. 

“Right…” mumbled Iwaizumi, seeming lost in thought. “Well let’s go,” he said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Oikawa grinned again, because he loved spending afternoons with Iwaizumi, even if it made his heart race and his mind fuzzy. 

Things had always been the same, a pleasant and consistent routine that Oikawa looked forward to every day. He looked forward to the walks to and from school. He looked forward to the days when they would study together or when they would watch movies. He looked forward to every minute he could spend with Iwaizumi. 

But it was still getting harder. 

It was getting harder to hide the too-long stares. Harder to hide the flush in his face. Harder to hide the simple want that Oikawa had. He wasn’t satisfied with how they were. He wanted more. So much more. He wanted to touch Iwaizumi and feel the warmth of his skin. He wanted to taste his lips and run his hands over anywhere, everywhere. He just wanted him.

And it was so hard to hide.

“Oikawa. Oikawa.”

Oikawa’s eyes snapped open and he looked up at Iwaizumi, confused. Had he been asleep? He removed his fist from the side of his face where he had been leaning. 

“Oikawa, you were making a weird face,” said Iwaizumi, his eyebrows furrowed. Oikawa felt like he could combust because he loved that expression. And he wanted to rip his hair out because why was this so difficult. This really sucks! Oikawa dropped his head on the table with a loud thunk, wrinkling his notebook with his forehead by accident. 

“The hell?” Iwaiumi leaned backwards, and Oikawa didn’t need to look to see the expression he was making, he knew he had the look exasperated frustration that would form whenever Oikawa did something weird. 

“Oikawa, I don’t know what’s going on with you. But you’re being weird. First of all you were totally off today during practice. You seem out of it and you keep spacing out. Look if you want to talk…” Iwaizumi trailed off as Oikawa looked up at him miserably. Oikawa’s childhood crush stared at him for a moment before his gaze softened. “I’m here for you,” he said as Oikawa felt his heart flutter. Oikawa groaned and his head dropped onto the table again.

“Ughhh, you can’t help me Iwa-chan,” he moaned, running his hands through his hair in frustration. Iwaizumi actually scoffed, almost as if he were offended. 

“And why not?” said Iwaizumi, sounding almost angry. Oikawa lifted his head, his bottom lip poking into a pout as he watched Iwaizumi, scanning the small movements in his face. Iwaizumi did look a bit angry, which made Oikawa’s stomach drop in fear because he hated seeing Iwaizumi legitimately angry with him. “Look I’ve helped you in the past, why not this time? Is it another girl? You always get weird like this when someone breaks up with you. So let’s talk. Get it out of your system, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi’s face had gradually returned to normal. He had always been supportive like this. But this isn’t something that Iwaizumi could help with. 

“Well this time you can’t!” snapped Oikawa a little too harshly, his emotions getting the better of him and spilling out in ways he didn’t want them to. Iwaizumi blinked slowly, staring at Oikawa. No. Not now. Don’t look at me like that! Oikawa felt anger welling up in him. Years of pent up frustration beginning to bubble to the surface. Oikawa looked down at the table, blinking tears from his eyes. He really didn’t want to have this happen now. 

He wasn’t dumb. Oikawa knew that he couldn’t hide his secret forever. But he didn’t want it to be angry. He didn’t want to spill the waves of feelings in his heart out of frustration. But Iwaizumi’s intense stare was tearing him apart, picking him to pieces bit by bit. He felt bare and vulnerable and he hated it. He loved Iwaizumi. But he hated this. He hated this fear, that he had to hide it for so long. He hated to think that if he knew that if he let himself go and if he told Iwaizumi, he wouldn’t feel the same back. He hated the intense, reverberating anxious waves of thinking of a place in the future without Iwaizumi. He couldn’t stand it. 

But he couldn’t stop it.

He couldn’t stop the sudden flow of tears that fell onto his notebook as his hands gripped into the fabric of his pants in an attempt to keep from trembling. He couldn’t stop the pitiful sob that escaped from his throat, choked and heavy. It was overflowing, and he couldn’t stop it. 

Oikawa didn’t hear Iwaizumi get up and walk around the table to sit on the ground next to him. He only noticed him when he felt a strong grip on his shoulder and the lightest touch of his fingertips trailing circles on his back. Oikawa let out a hitched breath, followed by a few more in quick succession. Iwaizumi didn’t say anything. Either he didn’t know what to say or he decided it was best not to say anything at all. Oikawa didn’t care, because he already had what he needed. Oikawa shook violently and the tears ceased and all that remained was sniffling and residual tremors. Oikawa wiped his eyes quickly with the back of his hand, ashamed of himself. He hadn’t cried like that for a very long time. He focused on the soft patterns that Iwaizumi made on his back. Iwaizumi’s other hand squeezed Oikawa’s shoulder lightly and Oikawa let his head drop against Iwaizumi, exhaling shakily through his mouth. He smiled, despite his previous mental collapse and sighed. He liked the heat of Iwaizumi’s body next to his and how his hands were both soft and strong. 

“I remember when you first did this for me,” mumbled Oikawa, so softly that he wasn’t even sure if he said it. Iwaizumi hummed softly in acknowledgement but continued to make patterns. Oikawa glanced up to look at the expression Iwaizumi was making. He looked calm, his eyes closed as he let his hands roam freely. “I’d been dumped by my first girlfriend. And I cried a lot. Like I just did. And you just sat here next to me and comforted me. We sat like this for… fuck, I dunno. Forever.” Iwaizumi raised one eyebrow and opened his eyes halfway, looking at Oikawa steadily. “It was a shitty day, before that. But that’s one of my favorite memories. I wanted to stay like that forever,” Oikawa wasn’t really paying attention to his own words. Iwaizumi closed his eyes again and hummed softly, the sound reverberating through Oikawa’s bones. 

“To be honest,” said Oikawa, looking towards the corner of the room where the walls met the ceiling. “I never really even liked that girl. I didn’t want to say no. But her company did nothing for me. I felt empty when I was with her. I guess I shouldn’t have told her that cause she really didn’t like it. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, Iwa-chan. I couldn’t feel anything towards anyone, no one interested me. No one seemed worth it when I had you so why should I bother with anyone else?” Oikawa sighed leaning back against Iwaizumi, his hands had stopped and his arms were wrapped around Oikawa leisurely, comfortable with the proximity that made Oikawa’s stomach flip in anxious excitement. 

“Who needs anyone else, Iwa-chan?” said Oikawa, his eyes looking forward at nothing. “It doesn’t matter if anyone else in the world comes along. Because I don’t need them,” Oikawa paused. His heart was beating steadily, and he felt calm, even though he was considering saying the scariest thing he had ever dreamed of. Iwaizumi remained quiet, but Oikawa didn’t dare look at his face. He continued to stare forward, contemplating if he was really going to do it. Oikawa felt his face scrunch up as fear rose in his chest and he shuddered, his hands gripping into Iwaizumi’s legs. 

“It’s scary, Iwa-chan. It’s scary because you’re all I have. You’re all I want to have. But how do I go on if you leave me? How am I supposed to handle that? I… I can’t imagine it. I’m really scared, Oikawa felt tears coming to his eyes again and they hurt, stinging the corners of his eyes like tiny knives. Iwaizumi hummed again and leaned over Oikawa, pressing his weight into him.

“Who ever said I was going to leave?” he mused. “I’ve stayed with you this long, I thought it was only natural that it would continue like that,” he mumbled. Iwaizumi’s face dropped into the crook of Oikawa’s neck. “Have you really liked me that long?” he said, his voice muffled by Oikawa’s shirt. 

Oikawa felt his face grow hot. He laughed loudly, uncomfortably. “Whoa whoa, Iwa-chan I ne-never said I liked you w-what are you insinuating?” he stammered his arms going up in defense. Oikawa had no idea why he had just said that. He had basically confessed, right? But he hadn’t said those words. He hadn’t actually said… Oikawa felt Iwaizumi stiffen. He felt the weight lessen from his back as Iwaizumi stood up and backed away. Oikawa turned around, squirming around on his butt until he was facing Iwaizumi, looking up at the confused, uncomfortable look on his best friend’s face. Oikawa felt his heart physically drop out of his body because he had fucked up. 

“I thought…” Iwaizumi’s tanned skin started to turn a deep shade of red as he brought one of his hands over his face and avoided eye contact. Oikawa stood up swiftly.

“L-Listen, Iwa-chan—” started Oikawa, stepping forward. Iwaizumi swatted his outreached hand away.

“I… Uh…” Iwaizumi’s eyebrows furrowed but Oikawa felt panic in his heart instead of the warm feeling he usually got. “Oikawa I’m confused…” Iwaizumi sounded vulnerable, something Oikawa had very rarely seen. 

Oikawa’s mind was working into overtime. Both of them were flustered. What had Oikawa said? Shit he couldn’t remember his own confession. Had he actually said that he loved him? He was going to save that. But… Oikawa studied Iwaizumi’s face, which was now an even darker shade of red even on the tips of his ears. But…

Why wait?

Oikawa crossed the distance between them and grabbed the hand covering Iwaizumi’s face and yanked it away, holding onto it with what might have been too strong of a grip, but he couldn’t really control his grip strength at the moment because he was far too focused on the task at hand. He let go of Iwaizumi’s hand and then grabbed his face and kissed him hard, his eyes squeezed shut like he was scared. Iwaizumi stumbled back a little bit and his back hit the wall of the room. For a few terrifying seconds, Oikawa thought that Iwaizumi was going to push him away. 

But then his hands wrapped around Oikawa’s body, one gripping him from the side and the other clenching Oikawa’s shirt as he pulled him closer. Oikawa let out an excited little sound inside of Iwaizumi’s mouth because he had dreamed about this for years. He had dreamed about the feeling of Iwaizumi’s lips pressed against his own and the frighteningly strong grip that enveloped Oikawa’s whole body. One of Oikawa’s hands wrapped behind Iwaizumi’s head, pulling him by the crook of his neck even closer. 

At that point, Oikawa realized that he hadn’t been breathing, and white light shot across his vision as his legs gave out from under him and the only thing keeping him up were Iwaizumi’s arms. Oikawa forced himself to break apart from Iwaizumi, his head spinning. Iwaizumi held him up, the look in his eyes concerned. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, his breathy voice incredibly soft as one hand ran up and down Oikawa’s back as if it were a habit. Oikawa chuckled and then smiled at Iwaizumi genuinely.

“To be honest, I’ve wanted to do that for years. I guess I got too excited and forgot to breathe,” he said airily. Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at him and then shook his head.

“You idiot,” he grumbled, his hand gripping Oikawa’s side squeezing slightly to reassure him ever so lightly. Iwaizumi made a gruff sound, as if he were coughing and looked off to the side. “So I take it…”

“I love you, Iwa-chan,” said Oikawa, the smile consuming his whole face. “I’ve loved you forever, I can’t love anyone else. You’re everything to me,” he felt overwhelmed because of the recent turn of events and wrapped his arms tightly around Iwaizumi, burying his face into his best friend’s chest. He felt Iwaizumi swallow slowly. 

“Thank god,” breathed Iwaizumi, his body relaxing. “I thought I was going crazy,” he leaned back against the wall, pulling Oikawa with him. Oikawa lifted his head, a glint in his eyes.

“And I wanna do it with you!” he said brightly, beaming a large smile. Iwaizumi’s face visibly went fuchsia and he shoved Oikawa’s face away.

“Don’t be an idiot,” he grumbled, his teeth gritting.

“Iwa-chan,” groaned Oikawa, drawing out the syllables, “But it’s true I really wanna do it with you. Do you have any idea how hot you are? You’ve made my life a living hell! How do I look at you and not think those kinds of things!” he said, exasperated. If it were possible, Iwaizumi’s blush darkened even more. 

“Shut up,” he said with his teeth gritted. Oikawa smirked and put a finger under Iwaizumi’s chin.

“Make. Me,” he taunted.

“Wow no. Nevermind. I hate you,” Iwaizumi stared at Oikawa with such annoyance it was almost as if he actually meant it. Oikawa felt so elated that he giggled.

“You love me!” he said, grinning from ear to ear and holding both of Iwaizumi’s hands.

“Yeah,” mumbled Iwaizumi, not looking Oikawa in the eyes.

“You love me,” repeated Oikawa, looking at his first love with an expression he had only used when Iwaizumi hadn’t been looking.


End file.
